Chocho and the Girls

chocho's angels... on his "28th" birthday @ #12 rainbow st.

One of these days by Michelle Branch

"One Of These Days"

I didn't notice
But I didn't care
I tried being honest
But that left me nowhere
I watched the station
Saw the bus pulling through
And I don't mind saying
A part of me left with you

One of these days
I won't be afraid of staying with you
I hope and I pray
Waiting to find a way back to you
Cause that's where I'm home

Did I make you nervous?
Did I ask for too much?
Was I not deserving one second of your touch?

One of these days
I won't be afraid of staying with you
I hope and I pray
Waiting to find a way back to you
Cause that's where I'm home

What would you do if I could have you?
Oh if I could
I'd let you feel everything I'm thinking
Wouldn't that be nice?

One of these days
I won't be afraid of staying with you

Goodbye To You [Lyrics] - Michelle Branch

just the right song ...tells exactly how I feel..crying myself as of the moment..unexplainable pain stabbing my heart..this will take a while to heal...but I know eventually it will..I found the courage to say goodbye and I'm just praying that I'll be whole again...it feels like my heart is so shattered to pieces and i can't seem to find a lot of missing pieces..i will miss this person so much, but now I have to learn to go by everyday, knowing I will never ever be talking or seeing him..ever...

goodbye, boss

i'm gonna delete you from my friend's list here on FB...i mean, it just hurts that you avoid talking to me and even responding to my messages..i know im annoying most of the time..but i think that's not the right way to treat your friends..especially those you know cares for you so much..this is the last time , really the last time you're gonna get a message frm me..im not mad..im sad that it had to end up this way..but maybe that's the least I can do to make you happier and give you more peace...advance happy birthday..take care..i'll always wish you well..thanks for everything..boss

--the last and the most painful message you can send to a friend... I feel so broken now..I can't even cry and I don't know how to explain what I feel...it's just really painful...

torn

tonight I'm sitting here in front of my computer, home alone and feeling sad..been staring @ my FB page for more than an hour now, doing the usual stuff..playing my applications, checking people statuses and of course waiting for that someone to go online.. before I'm used to sending him a message on the chat box, asking him what happened to his day and sharing my own stories also..we used to laugh and talk about a lot of things..we even call each other before using Skype (coz it's free)...

but for the past week or so..we haven't really been talking and that makes me so sad.. tonight I tried to send him a message..no response...did I lost another friend again? did I just pissed off another person because of my attitude? is someone leaving me again and is off to forgetting I once existed in his life?

a friend told me to just let it go..if the person does not want to be friends with me anymore, then so be it..they're not worth of my precious time..

I should be thinking of more important things right now, Dad's in the hospital and I have a lot of financial distress that I have to deal with..but here I am, feeling gloomy for being ignored.. I'm staring at the "remove from friend list" link now but I can't seem to do it.. I was able to do it before..why can't I do it now? I should have not let a this person befriend me..I should have not shared a part of my heart to him..but I did..somehow I regret befriending a "random" friend on FB capture my heart..that was just silly

Vogue by Jane Lynch (Glee Season 2 - Power of Madonna Episode)

Logorama – Pulp Fiction For Brands

Logorama from Marc Altshuler - Human Music on Vimeo.

first day high 04.13.2010

well this week started fine..long avail time..i was able to get through the day without sleep with the help of four shots of coffee and ding dong mixed nuts with chips and curls..(i finished the whole pack since Airolle is absent and I have no one to share it to and Jer was like 2 bays away from me)

nice start..no failed QA's, CSAT scores doing good (reached the 80 mark yay!) AHT's still at 28 points and the rest of the metrics are ok.. I think I'm doing good as far as my job us concerned for the first quarter of the year. My goal is to be able to pass my gridd scores for the whole year since I don't have any chance of being shortlisted since the refresh period of my suspension from last year is due this October. Well that's fine with me..

The thing is I just hope all the hard work I'm doing right now will be properly compensated and appreciated.. Sometimes I feel like I'm striving too hard but because I cannot get into the peak of my performance or there are always people whose getting higher scores than what I'm getting, my efforts are not really recognized and appreciated. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of my team mates whose consistently passing their scores and getting shortlisted for a higher position, they're my good friends so I'm happy for the "privileges" they're getting. Maybe I still need to work harder so other people would see that I do deserve to get those privileges also.

I'll cry it out..this too shall pass..

it's been almost a year since we met on FB...it was a great start since I've noticed that we like a lot of things alike and he's a very sensible person to talk to. That time we were both "heart broken" and the talks and chats we had helped us both in finding our individual smiles..then i found myself smiling because of him..I long to talk to him..see him on the webcam..hearing his voice.. Too bad on my part I may have become very pushy and I started demanding for his time which I know was wrong but I can't help it..He was like already a habit..a part of my day..like the air I breathe.. Things had become rocky and we stopped talking and getting in touch for a while though we still exchange status comments and wall posts on Facebook. I knew what I was starting to feel then is a dead end..would go nowhere.

So I deleted him on Facebook, I said to myself there's no way I'm gonna let myself fall and be broken again because of someone whose very far from me and I know I'll never get to see in person...days and weeks past..Then came my birthday..there was a promise from him..a promise I never thought he would fulfill..The next day, my phone rang and an unfamiliar number displayed..I answered the phone and to my surprise..with the blissful feeling.I heard his voice..His voice through a phone call was the only thing I asked of him as a gift and and he kept his promise.. we talked for roughly 20 minutes but it felt like his voice resonating on my ears..and my heart..I was so happy then and I had to add him back to FB and we started talking again..Not as much as before..but it was enough for me..I said to myself..no to expectations anymore..we're friends and that's all we could ever be..

For the next few weeks, everything was fine..I stay addicted to facebook and had ocassional chats with other people..even with another guy named Chris. I just let him be with his life. One day I received a message on Facebook from him..it was 5am in the morning when I read the message on my phone..he was apologetic and asking for understanding..he met this girl whom he likes so much..and they're dating already..he was worried that I would get jealous and would think that because of him dating again and being happy again because of a girl would make me feel alone again..I only said.. "i'm happy for you"....

That time..am I really happy for him? yes I was happy for him..part of my prayers is for him to be happy and have a girl who would find how great of a man he is..but inside me is a girl, screaming so loud because of pain..a pain nobody would want to feel..just like the how a song says..it stabbed like a thousand knives in my heart..but I have to keep it to myself, cried myself to sleep for weeks then..every after we talked about her and how happy he is with her..but as a good friend..I have to make him feel I'm there to listen and I'm there to support his happiness..

Again weeks past, we've been busy..the pain subsided..I had bought my own computer and had my own Internet connection in my house thus giving me more time to be in front of the computer and talk to other people as well to him. His relationship with this girl had become rocky and unstable and of course like any good friend..I stayed with him...listened to his rants..felt his pain..

I started to get his attention again and we had more talks than ever before..I shared laughs and tears thru Skype, "just like the old times"... I looked forward to speaking, chatting and hearing him again. It felt like he's really close..I assured me he's always there for me when I cry..he told me he loves me..

It felt like heaven..I knew I loved me and I am important to him..but as a friend..but regardless...it made my heart scream for joy and put everyday smiles on my face..

Now at this moment..I'm feeling pain again..this stressful life we both have takes toll to our relationship..we haven't talked in a while..It seems like he's avoiding me but he said he just wanted to be alone...why do you wanna be alone? do you really wanna be alone or you just don't wanna talk to me or see me..it hurts..i felt this before..because of you..but here I go again..do I ever learn?

I wish I could ignore you or forget about you as easily as you've done with me...it's just not fair and I don't know why I care...I don't know what tomorrow would bring us both..I just really pray and hope that I don't have a frail heart..I get hurt every time and I never learn from all the heartaches...if this would be the end of everything..even our friendship..so be it..I'll cry it out..this too shall pass..

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